Honest
story from the UK (ht to Big Blue Wave) about the stresses of IVF and pitfalls. This couple not only spent a fortune chasing the ideal of a family but ended up divorced, terminating three of the pregnancies...one for fetal abnormality, the other a set of twins because the marriage broke up during the pregnancy. The women is honest enough to admit her obsession and selfishness and the pitfalls of IVF. I do have compassion for those trying to get pregnant and remember when my husband and I were trying to conceive, we talked of nothing else but my fertility cycle. There was no IVF back in those days but just small fertility treatments that were unsuccessful...however, as often happens when we gave up trying... it happened.
I also know a couple who conceived three children via IVF and now are faced with what to do with the frozen embryos left over. They did not ask enough questions or take a strong stand during the treaments about the number of eggs to be fertilized. You trust the doctors and are mindful of the costs. Now they don't want to donate them for adoption (can't bear the thought) and don't want them destroyed for research (again....can't bear the thought) so they remain frozen as the couple cannot envision having five more children to raise. How sad!
Another couple now in the process of a divorce spent most of their married years trying to get pregnant, being successful once .....then a miscarriage....followed by fertility treatments (unsuccessful...and adoptions). Now with the family picture finally complete the relationship is over. Are we all chasing some elusive dream of happiness?
The women in this article admits that her obsession contributed to breaking up the marriage as the husband despaired of ever making her happy as she tries to put her life together with one son, three abortions and a broken marriage. A real eye opener....
I’ve
read since that, according to HFEA statistics, 80 women each year have a
termination following IVF, despite having gone through so much to
conceive in the first place.
I would have given birth at the beginning of June, and I try to keep
thoughts about the termination at the back of my mind, otherwise I feel a
huge sense of loss.
A
few years ago, fertility expert Lord Winston made a speech to a
reproductive and genetics charity in which he said, ‘The fertility
clinic is more distressing than anything else in medicine. Even if you
compare it to the cancer ward, there is no contest. In my early days, I
was doing a lot of the work that young doctors do, which included cancer
patients. It struck me that although cancer patients were often
distressed, they live with the hope that they might get better.
Infertility patients don’t always have that hope: they realize that most
of the time the treatment doesn’t work.’
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