Birth Mothers should be honored and held in high regard. We all would like to think that we are courageous and selfless, putting the needs of our children before our needs. Few of us accomplish that. Birth mothers are head and shoulders above the rest of us.
I saw a blog post from a pro choice perspective on Mother's Day. I was prepared to be offended as the industry that profits from offing your offspring want to honor mothers.....like a sick joke. You want this one...great ...you are a mother.....this one unwanted....we terminate your pregnancy and no more worries. Happy Unmother's Day. Ugh!
But this had a different twist. It talked about birth mothers but concluded that you suffer more remorse and regret from making an adoption plan than from making an abortion plan. Ask the post abortive women and the birth mothers. No comparison.....the post abortive women will tell you that the regret and memory never leave them. Their child's life was abruptly ended at their request and in a manner too awful to think about. My heart breaks for them. Birth mothers may have a different feeling but because of open and semi open adoption options, they have know their child is alive and thriving.
From the article:
Many people assume, and anti-abortion groups insist, that giving up a baby for adoption is not only an easy choice, but a righteous alternative to abortion. It's not. First of all, it's unusual: less than 1% of women confronting unintended pregnancy today choose adoption. And for the birth mother adoption is difficult, often much more emotionally painful than abortion, according to many studies. With abortion, a woman almost always puts the decision behind her, and moves on; with adoption that can be considerably more challenging.
Yet abortion and adoption have a lot in common too. Just like women who choose abortion, women who make an adoption plan are subject to shame, coercion, misinformation, unfavorable laws, and the politicization of their choice. It is here that the reproductive rights movement may recognize a role .
The pro-choice movement has already helped usher in a new era in adoption. Contraception, legalized abortion and the de-stigmatizing of unwed mothers helped create the environment in which birth mother rights could flourish. Birth mothers could take control of their pregnancy and its outcome. It allowed them to shape the way that their babies go into the world.
It may be true that birth mothers often are given a bad rap that is totally unfair but it is disgusting that the abortion rights folks take credit for the introduction and implementation of open and semi open adoption. They can take credit for the less than 1% choosing adoption as the abortion industry has no vested interest in adoption, but they do in selling abortions. I have heard too many times the number of women who were "counseled" out of adoption in favor of abortions at Planned Parenthood, the leading abortion provider.
Today, I honor a birth mother I call friend. She is helping to end the stigma that has been attached to birth mothers by speaking in favor of adoption and against abortion. Happy Birth Mother's Day .....Christine