Minnesota
parent reacts to Kansas school districts sex education curriculum, opting out
& the latest on Embedded Health “Sexting” Lessons.
By:
Anne Taylor
Last
week a story broke about an angry dad after his middle school daughter brought
home a picture of a poster listing sex acts to 12 and 13 year olds that
included “grinding,” “anal sex,” “sexual fantasy,” “oral sex” and “touching
each other’s genitals,” but also “dancing,” “talking” and “hugging.” The
district later disclosed it was part of their sex education program. While some
parents were okay with the explicit list and sex curriculum, others argued it
didn’t belong in a classroom and were outraged that the specifics of the class
was not disclosed to parents before signing off on sex education for their
child.
Reality
is we know access to technology has been an ongoing issue in homes across America
with youth and it doesn't stop when our kids hit the school doors. They bring
their phones with them in the name of ‘safety,’ and recent implementations of
Common Core standards will tell you electronics are imperative to “21st century learning” so kids
will come fully equipped with iPads and laptops to the tune of some 90 Billion
dollars from the U.S. Department of Education.
Being
the parent of a middle school child, I can’t even begin to tell you how often
the kids are breaking the firewalls so they can game the system to play video
games or do snap chat during language arts class (we no longer call it
English). At a recent middle school PTA meeting in Minnetonka, Minnesota,
parents - about 20 something moms in a district that serves thousands - were warned
Instagram screen shots posted to FB are “in.” What’s a parent to do to keep up?
So
imagine if you will what a relief it must be when parents shy away from the sex
talk or simply don’t make time with their child to talk on these issues and
schools say, “We can help!” While most parents I've talked to say they wish
their mom or dad had been more open to discussions on the birds and the bees, I
know a lot who have decided to take that on themselves. We can’t help but feel
protective when someone ‘else’ is teaching our kids about sex (and everything
in-between).
But
what happens when we allow the government to decide for us what is best for our
child and what benchmarks they need to meet when it comes to health and sex
education?
“Is
health a requirement for middle school graduation?” I asked the counselor.
“No,” she responded, it is not a state requirement.” “Can I opt out my child
from the sex education portion in health and teach the materials from home?” I
asked again. “Yes.” she responded. Good, I thought, I see a study hall in my
child’s future. And so began a journey where long story short, it was a month
before that sex ed teacher would remove ‘missing assignments’ from my child’s
electronic record even though my child was NOT to be penalized in any way for
withdrawing or opting out. Needless to say, the following year my child was
opted out of health class completely, including the sex ed portion.
This all took place in 2011-2012 and assumed the rest was
behind us. Fast forward to fall of 2013 where “Embedded Health Lessons” begin.
An email from the school district explained that upon
completing the EXPLORE Test, 8th graders would participate in
the first of a series of embedded health lessons. The first lesson would cover
social networking, specifically in the area of sexting. We were asked to check
with our child and ask what they took away from the “sexting lesson” and what
their perspective is on the issue.
For those new to school lingo, the EXPLORE Test is a
pre-ACT exam for 8th graders taking up nearly a full day of class that
follows up with a 72 questionnaire of inventory information on likes and
dislikes so the computer can spit out what careers your child will be good at.
All the while children are required to log into the schools computers to access
the test using their personal school ID code (another well known feature of
Common Core standards).
So here we are with embedded health. No one at the school,
not even the teachers knew exactly when these ‘lessons’ would be taking place I
was told. I was later informed through the principal and guidance counselor
(and many, many emails going back and forth) that the High School teachers come
in to teach the embedded health AND often do so during regular classroom time.
Could that be one way they are trying to cover ‘health’ without a class, I
wonder?
Make that ‘opt-out’ number three now for our family, because
what I’m about to share with you will really knock your socks off while sending
Dorothy back to Kansas!
Opting out or not, parents DO have the right to review
curriculum materials. I asked for the materials and received a Power Point
presentation from the principal. Clearly, that was their only curriculum for
the sexting lesson (ahem, they could at least change the title of the lesson,
yes?). There was a point in the presentation that gave statistics on sexing –
in fact, the more I flipped through the slides it seemed to me they REALLY WERE
TEACHING OUR CHILDREN HOW TO SEXT, even the photos of kids used in the
presentation had high school looking features! Back the statistics…
Statistics were listed on the power point and at the bottom
of the screen and in small print it read, “The National Campaign.” So I asked
the principal who was this National Campaign or “Council” and where did the
school get their sexting statistics from. Two days later I received a response
and links to where the information came from as follows:
Some of you
may be in support of the National Campaign and their efforts, but look closely
at the next link and you will find a “Cosmo Girl” Survey on Sexting
taken from 2008. Twenty pages of ‘sex & tech’ statistics right at your
fingertips! Did the school take the time to disclose this to parents so that we
may have a meaningful conversation with our child and information at hand? No.
Did the school ever wonder what our perspective could be as parents? I don’t
think so.
The information on sexting and the
dangers prevalent in today’s society with youth having so much access to the
internet is pretty relevant and an important one; however, for the majority of
parents who may be too busy or too trusting of their district, we may overlook
what is being taught by the school. Should we accept that a Cosmo Girl survey
is the only survey out there on sexting?
I remember Cosmopolitan magazine back in the 80s,
known for their insight on sex and still exists today, but now they have a
‘Cosmo Girl’ magazine? I’m all for liberating women, but this is too much. I
have to sit back and ask what are we teaching our youth when schools refer to
these types of resources? What are we allowing our government to teach to our
youth when a parent or trusting adult is not available?
This is what happens when we allow the media’s culture to
direct our very primal forces of nature – the culture of actually creating more
sexuality and promiscuity than perhaps is really all there. Don’t believe me?
Take another look at the National Campaign to Prevent Teen
and Unplanned Pregnancy’s website. Check out “the Too-Skinny Jean” ad on a
failed attempt at sex. Those aren’t teens as the actors clearly appear to be in
their 20s – while one couple could be in their 40s! Although the PSA’s create
hilarious scenarios in the ads, it’s really geared more toward adult humor. And
that’s the key in this: Sex is meant for
Adults. So how do we keep our teens abstinent as all Superintendents and
school principals will brag that all their schools teach it. Read closely again
at the National Campaign’s site to see right on their front page the following:
“Sex &
Tech: What’s Really Going on”
“Shock or
Snore? CosmoGirl asks youth what they think.”
“Sex &
Tech…Sex & Tech…(repeated in 4 headlines)Teens tell us what they feel about
sex & tech.”
I’m hearing sex & tech! Sounds catchy, yes? Do you
suppose that’s why teens could possibly be attracted to it? There is a link
you can check out to view the new Common Core standards in National Sexuality
Education Standards for K-12.
Upon viewing all 44
pages of the new standards, tell me who you want interpreting your child’s
benchmarks for health and sex education, because their GPA is going to depend
upon it.
Maybe Kansas did wake us up.
After all, sex sells!
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