I’m not “giving up”

Statistics tell us that pregnant teen are choosing single parenting 50-55%, abortion, 30-35% and adoption is less than 1%.

Isn't this alarming?  Just imagine if we could reverse the statistics of abortion and adoption?  With 2MM couples waiting to adopt, why is adoption not even on the radar screen?

The reason appears to be that even in well written articles, we continue to frame adoption in outdated  and negative language.   Even  some professionals that deal with teens have an outdated,  inaccurate viewpoint of adoption generated by made for  TV movies that show anomalies or view adoption as it was in the 1970's.  Today we have open, semi open and confidential adoptions. Using negative adoption language contributes to this misrepresentation.

 A nonprofit Decisions, Choices and Options, was  started to correct these inaccurate views. This  copy written curriculum is now being presented in 8 states by 52 trained agencies. Since its inception by  Joi Wasill, an educator and mother by adoption in middle TN, this program  has presented to over 55, 000 high school students.

The next time you talk or write  about adoption, please consider the impact of your language.

Don't use Because Instead, say: Real, Natural parent Implies that adoptive relationships are artificial, tentative. Birth or Biological parents Own child Suggests that adoptive relationships are less important than biological relationships. Birth child, child by birth To keep Children are not possessions, and they need care, love, and commitment. It's not like "keeping" a thing. To parent Closed adoption Implies that the experience of adoption, rather than just contact between parents, is over. Confidential adoption Taken away, given  up Denotes that children are stolen or forgotten rather than adopted legally and with forethought. Birth parents always "keep" feelings for their children. Termination of parental rights Is adopted Adoption is a one-time event, not a definition of a person. Was adopted Available, unwanted Waiting children are wanted. The right family just has not been found, and they are not available to whoever is interested. In need of a family, waiting Adopted child, adoptive parents In most contexts, qualifiers are not needed. Adoption creates a full, permanent relationship. Son, daughter; or mom, dad Illegitimate Children born to unmarried parents should never be labeled or stigmatized. No replacement Give away, put up Does not accurately describe the birth parent's decision-making process and responsible choice. Make an adoption plan; choose adoption Hard to place Labels the child and unfairly places blame on him or her for needing an adoptive family. Child who has special needs, waiting child Foreign adoption While more acceptable in the past, today "foreign" has negative connotations. International adoption

Growing up fatherlessness....a blight on our nation

Coming Home as a good article about the issue of fatherlessness. It is epidemic and the impact on us as a nation is sobering. I am aware of this since I serve on the board of a non profit that educates teens as to the decisions that must be made if a pregnancy occurs. The majority of the teens choose single parenting and hope their life turns out like a made for TV movie. The statistics prove otherwise.

 Photo from post Coming Home

Lest one think that these numbers are without consequence, the impact on a fatherless child’s life is all-too-often devastating........

These numbers are being hailed in some quarters as representative of women’s strength and accomplishment. In truth, they represent the implosion of marriage and family as the numbers represent the number of women who have given up on family and marriage, choosing to go the single route. None suspects that her child will suffer for want of a father. The numbers suggest that those hopes may be whistling past the graveyard: